also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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