Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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