i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
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is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
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He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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