Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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