Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
