She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I need water and some morals
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
