Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I don't think brook has ever known best
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
