Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
