worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
