Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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