no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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