He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think my vagina is haunted
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
