sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
