Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
