i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
