He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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