I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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