Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
