I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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