she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You were trust falling into bushes
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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