I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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