Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
