There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
