im holly from the hills drunk
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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