remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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