dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
