did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize