ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize