Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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