After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
