I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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