so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
