I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
and she was petting her beer can
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
