I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
