It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
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Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
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My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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