I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
