VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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