if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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