I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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