He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
