you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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