we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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