She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Holy shit dude........stairs
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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