honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
