weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
