You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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