So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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