I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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