I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize