I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
