Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
ok first of all what the fuck
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
