Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize