I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.