I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn