I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips