Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.