Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.