Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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