you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
