I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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