ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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